Friday, April 6th, 2007
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9:46 pm
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I feel like i want to DIE.
I mean, I'm not losing him or anything, but in the physical sense i am... I know we've only been together a few months but it feels like its been forever and i know its will last. For a guy that i hated a year and a half ago, he has become my future. Lets just say I'm hesitant to lose that comfort. I know that anyone reading this may think i am over-reacting like i usually do... Yes, in a sense I very well might be. What's even worse though is that we've madeso many plans for the future and now half of them are gone with this move. We were going o move in together six months from now. Now he has to live with his parents and be truency free for the next six school months... so if we are still going to move in together, it has been pushed back at least 8 months, if not more... He was going to be my savior. He named our kids for lord's sake! and if things still move along the way they have been, we were going to get married. not right after high school, but two years after, before he joins the navy and goes off for four years.
I feel like my heart has been ripped out and stomped on with a high heeled shoe, while its still BEATING.
current mood:  depressed
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(comment on this)
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10:44 am - Rar
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He had to go to court for his attendance yesterday and well, he has to stay with his family by court order...
when he came back to school he looked so sad... so very sad. whne I asked how it went, i expected something bad, but really, it isn't so awful. He said that he got a fine of $250. He also said he had to stay with his family by court order, which means he will be movign to portland afterall. On Monday he is withdrawing from King and going to start at GP...
He says he's sorry because he feels like all our plans are ruined.
Yes they are James, but I can forgive you.
We can make new plans.
I was looking foreward to our escape. Now I will only see him once a week, if that... I know I'll miss him more than anyother guy I've ever been with and I don't know if I'll be bale to survive this heartbreak this time around.
Believe it or not, but we have planned our entire lives together.
I don't know what I'm going to do without him.
current mood:  contemplative
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(comment on this)
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Thursday, March 15th, 2007
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9:26 am - trust
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he was going to move to portland unless he moved in with a friend. we had been having trust issues.
here is his appology:
baby im sorry for being a dick about the whole trust thing i dont care if i know i know you trust me you have to lol imean you are letting me roomate with one of the opposite sex
its almost definate that i might live with her but i think its better than leaving you here in corpus i could never leave you....... you mean every thing to me if i ever lost you i would probably go insane you are the closest thing to my heart and always will be the happiness i fell from just hearing your voice is enough for me to take on anything the world has to throw at me seeing you is even better. your beautiful face makes me go insane you are always on my mind and when i hold you life should just freeze in that one moment and we should just sit there to linger.....
i love you
p.s. i dont want to be grammatically correct
so i didnt proof read it
i just thought i sould let it all out :D
love you so much
Miller
current mood:  loved
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(comment on this)
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Sunday, September 3rd, 2006
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4:12 pm
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Sunday, May 7th, 2006
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7:51 pm
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Saturday, March 25th, 2006
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11:12 am - Change
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Well I've been talking to this guy named Rocky. He is a senior at carroll and he's in the army. He seems almost too good to be true. Why would someone like him be intrested in me? Well, even if anything were to happen, doubt it, He ships out July 4th then six months after that, he's going to Iraq. So there is not point getting attached.
current mood: complacent
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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Tuesday, March 21st, 2006
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6:39 pm
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Monday, January 16th, 2006
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6:11 pm - Bad Bad Leroy Brown!
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Tuesday, December 27th, 2005
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9:35 pm
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i was talking to this freshman named clint over myspace.
he seems pretty cool
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(comment on this)
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Thursday, December 8th, 2005
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6:01 pm - Well, Dears
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Its been a while hasn't it?
I found out Samantha, not only cheated on one of my best friends, but is now cheating on another. What a whore. I have a new love intrest for those of you who don't already know. His name is stephen, hes quite nice actually. We're "talking", to put it into simple terms, yet, this often happens to me without results. So don't get too excited kiddies.
-----Tim just called to let me know he found my history book outside! THANK GOODNESS! I thought i had lost it.-----
Yes, well anyway, Brett cut off all of his lovely hair!
Tomorrow is annual inspection for rotc. I hope i can achieve a circle ten. If i don't, thats ok.Then afterwards, i'm gettin picked up so i can get ready to leave to San Antiono. I will be attendin the wedding of a cousin i have never met. Its ok though, i met her sister last year at her wedding. She seemed nice. Well, I'm sure whoever is reading this is tired of hearing abotu my insignificant life. I bid you adieu, until another day.
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Monday, November 21st, 2005
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9:38 pm - more flames
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9:19 pm
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Friday, November 18th, 2005
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4:58 pm
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Wednesday, November 16th, 2005
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5:10 pm
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Wednesday, November 9th, 2005
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5:07 pm - ~~*~~*~~
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you walked me to my car again, leaving sam after she begged and clinged to you and said not to go with me. thanks. that is why i like you. you pick me over just about everyone and it makes me feel loved. i know you only love me as a sister, and i can't change that. However, i'd rather be loved as your best friend, than be hated as an ex.
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(comment on this)
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Sunday, November 6th, 2005
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12:26 pm - ~~*~~*~~
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going to the movies tonight
6:30 century 16 to see saw II
please come if you can.
if you can't, i still love you.
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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Sunday, October 16th, 2005
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6:37 pm
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A demon watches over you. You may find yourself at
times wishing those you dislike dead.
Sometimes, you may find yourself being jealous.
Anger can often get the best of you. You are a
unique individual. Overall though, you are a
kind person with a big heart. Your demon is
always watching over you. Though a demon may
seem like evil is watching you, it is not true.
Your demon is on neither side; good nor evil.
Your demon is on your side. Your demon is
constantly protecting and guiding you down the
right path for you in life.
Who is your soul guardian?
brought to you by Quizilla
current mood:  artistic
current music: "send the pain below" chevelle
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(comment on this)
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Friday, October 14th, 2005
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9:57 pm
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Monday, October 10th, 2005
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6:30 pm
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Saturday, September 17th, 2005
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5:46 pm
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i made-up with him this morning. we had fun.
he declared that i'm one of his best friends.
i was astonished. O.O
i like him more than i liked micheal.
which is a big deal.
i guess that means i'm finally over him?
but he told me more things that made me feel bad again.
but he also did some things that made up for it.
like accidentily stepping on my poor toe.
which is all bruised now.
but thats okay.
i think i've gotten closer to him in the past three weeks than i ever have been to anyone.
its odd.
i really care abotu this guy.
and after everything he told me last night,
i don't want anything to happen.
he's had such a bad life.
but he's a great person.
those people missed out on the most wonderful person i've ever met.
current mood: *singing*
current music: "breathe"
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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kafination's journal
